Queue

After years of avoiding those annoying little Netflix pop-ups, I had an impulsive moment... Now I have a Netflix Queue. Normally, I hate queues because of the association with waiting, but in the interest of growing up, I've decided that having one less hang-up wouldn't hurt.

So what I have I been watching? Lots of things. Surprising because I thought I was too impatient and too slender in the attention span to watch movies on my own. I've been a co-dependent movie watcher for most of my life and I have never seen a movie in a theater by myself.

No desire to sit in the dark and stare at big pictures; provides no comfort in illuminating my real big picture, cloaked in darkness and uncertainty. So once again, in the interest of the growing up (which I suspect is fundamental to my big picture) I'm finally sitting down to watch movies on my own. I'm not ready for the theater but my couch has transformed from lackluster enabler to eager co-therapist.

During my therapy, I've rediscovered several movies that I love. One of my favorites is "Chungking Express". Saw this movie several times one summer, about 10 years ago. Moody, and subdued, it's simultaneously agitating and soothing. It's like a lullaby that repeatedly wakes you up and then soothes you back to sleep. But that's enough with the movie reviewing. I'll share my random thoughts with you about Netflix (and it's tangential role in the growing up) but not my opinions about the obscure foreign movies that I watch via Netflix.

Some things are better left unshared anyway. You try to share something that you find wonderful, and enchanting, and you are often greeted with the equivalent of a disinterested shrug, verbally, non-verbally, sometimes in writing.

And perhaps that's what you deserve if you go around pushing your opinions on people. Not only is it boorish, but it's quite wasteful. Keep them to yourself! Jealously guard them. They are tiny little pieces of your picture, and shouldn't be shared freely, not like the contents of your Netflix queue.