Agent Kid

I don't worry too much about what my son wears as long as his appearance is neat. I honestly wouldn't be thrilled if he went full blown "Princess Boy" on me but his preference of red clothes over blue is not an issue (As long as there's no obvious gang affliation at least).

We were talking about the condition his clothes recently, namely about the his wanton destruction of property. At least 6 pairs of jean had been ripped over the course of a school year. They all bore identical holes across the right knee. His signature, if you will. One or two rippped jeans I could understand, but as I piled them up on the floor, I started fuming. Clearly, whatever he was doing had to stop. I refused to buy replacements if they were all going to meet similar fates.

So, never one to avoid confrontation, yes even with a six year old, I initiated the following exchange.

"If you don't stop putting holes in your pants, I'm not buying you any more."
"It's too cold for this! Do you wanna wear the same pants every day?"

"I dunno." He shrugged, bouncing on one foot to the other.

"Do you have to use the bathroom?" I demanded.

He thought about it then bounced off, this time one foot in front of the other. But I wasn't finished with the subject.

"All I know is you are gonna have to wear the same pants all the time if you keep ripping them. It's too cold for clothes with holes."

"O-Kay. I just don't wanna wear the same shirt every day. Isaac wears the same yellow shirt and blue pants every day and I don't know why."

"Who is Isaac?"

"You saw Isaac. He sits at my table."

"Oh, is he the Asian kid?" I asked.

"No Mommy. He isn't an agent kid. He's only a little boy. Little boys can't be agents."

"Not AGENT. I said ASIAN."

"Asian? I don't know what that means. Why would you call him Asian?"

"Umm. I don't know. He looks Asian."

"Well, I don't know anything about that. It's weird that he wears the same thing everyday. Maybe you are right Mommy. Maybe he is an agent. I didn't think of that."

I thought about the funny exchange. Especially funny considering the source. It came from the child who would pointedly tell you that the crayon you referred to as blue is in fact "blue-violet". I had been corrected on more than a few occasions, and made it a point to read the crayon before opening my mouth. I felt foolish for even bringing it up, the fact that Isaac is an agent was not at all relevant to the conversation.